The Best Spam Comment Ever?

by Paul Wolfe on June 5, 2012

Spam comments are a pain in the ass right?  We all get them despite adding plugins and blocking IP addresses and all that nonsense.

I got a spam comment about two weeks ago – and have been meaning to share it because:

  • it’s funny!
  • it’s instructive

I’ve got the ‘GASP’ plug in installed here on Da Spoon, so to post a comment you have to tick the checkbox.  SO that eliminates ‘robot’ spam.  However there’s an army of ‘human spammers’ who are surfing the blogosphere dropping crappy comments in the hope of getting a backlink or two.

Here’s a clue to you guys that gives you away and gets your comment marked as spam without even being read:

  1. including keywords in your ‘name’ field
  2. no avatar associated with your comment

Seriously if there’s no avatar – just the default profile – you go in the spam bin.

But there’s a more dedicated strain of human spammers.  I’m guessing these guys sell services offering backlinks for money.  And you’ve probably noticed that a lot of spam comments follow a similar format.  Well the comment that got dropped on a post three weeks ago was obviously this particular spammer’s entire ‘cut and paste’ library of comments for different blogs.

So check it out – and you’ll see a variety of phrases that you’ve probably seen in your comment spam over the last few months.  (But having THIS left as a comment was freaking hilarious).

Oh, any non-spam comments….please leave them below!

The Best Spam Comment Ever?

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Spam Troll Number 1 June 5, 2012 at 8:53 am

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Paul Wolfe June 5, 2012 at 9:00 am

Ahhh- the delicious irony of getting a spam comment on a post about Blog Spam! Here’s a hint…in future read what you’re posting on, at least scan it.

(For the ‘real’ people out there – I plan to find an image of a trolls head and link it to the ‘avatar.’)

Spam Troll Number 2 June 5, 2012 at 9:11 am

It’s not my first time to pay a quick visit this website, i am visiting this web site dailly and get pleasant information from here daily.

Paul Wolfe June 5, 2012 at 9:12 am

Ha ha ha – more irony….spam troll Number 2 appears! I can see this is going to get tireing for me pretty quickly!

Lori Gosselin June 5, 2012 at 10:26 am

Hi Paul,
Such irony! You have collected a lot of intelligent messages!
I’m amazed at how much spam my first attempt at a blog still gets! But with Life, for instance we use Livefyre and have next to no spam. When I see one show up, less than a handful in nearly two years, I’m always surprised.
Nice to see you Paul!

Paul Wolfe June 5, 2012 at 10:29 am

Hooray! A real person and not a troll spammer! Hey Lori, how are you???

Maybe I need to move to LiveFyre!!!
Thanks for dropping by, hope things are busy in your part of the blogosphere!


Lori Gosselin June 5, 2012 at 11:43 am

Yeah – why aren’t you using Livefyre? I assumed you had good reasons but then, maybe you haven’t considered it yet? I love it!
Things are busy at my part of the B! Come on over – Claudia is talking about the language of love today.

Paul Wolfe June 5, 2012 at 12:25 pm

I might just install it and get rid of these trolls forever!

Bell June 5, 2012 at 10:33 am

Spam comments have always made me wonder — what’s with the ‘i’?

At any rate, there were such marvelous revelations here. Like the one about the guy writing about the Romoba (knock-off Roomba?) or that ‘expertise’ is a verb.

[As Calvin said, verbing weirds the world.]

My favorite, back when I had a directionless blog years ago, was ‘you, author — hero!’, which seems to have gone out of style.

Thank you for this really useful information, Paul, this is going on my twitter ;)

Paul Wolfe June 5, 2012 at 10:37 am

Hey John

Hope you’re well….thanks for stopping by. When I got this as a comment I nearly fell on the floor laughing….what’s funny is some of these kind of comments are often posted to my About Page or my Services page. It’s both funny…and pathetic in a sad kind of way.


Spam Troll Number 3 June 5, 2012 at 10:44 am

I think that everything composed made a bunch of sense. However,
think on this, suppose you were to write a awesome title?
I mean, I don’t wish to tell you how to run your website, but suppose you added a post title that grabbed folk’s attention? I mean The Best Spam Comment Ever? | One Spoon At A Time is a little plain. You could peek at Yahoo’s front page and see how they create news headlines to grab people interested. You might add a related video or a picture or two to grab readers excited about what you’ve written. In my opinion, it could bring your posts a little livelier.

Paul Wolfe June 5, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Oh look….another spam troll.

How about YOU actually try reading a post and responding intelligently before you leave your cut and paste spam crap all over the place?

Spam Troll Number 4 June 5, 2012 at 10:59 am

Your method of telling all in this piece of writing is really nice, every one be able
to without difficulty understand it, Thanks a lot.

Paul Wolfe June 5, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Really? My method of telling all is ‘without difficulty understand it?” Are you f**king sure about that?
Why don’t you get a real job?

Ryan Hanley June 5, 2012 at 12:01 pm


I’m not going to say my blog is popular… But it’s more popular than it was say 6 months ago. One thing that no one really tells you about growing a blog is that SPAM comments increase exponentially…

I do not have KeywordLuv on my blog so as a rule I delete all comment with Keywords in them… I don’t even look at the content.

Awesome post though dude… really gets the point across.


Ryan H.

Paul Wolfe June 5, 2012 at 12:25 pm


I think I’m gonna install something else! The spam is stupid…though I’m having fun with today’s spammers!

Spam Troll Number 5 June 5, 2012 at 12:18 pm

We absolutely love your blog and find a lot of your post’s to be just what I’m looking for. Does one offer guest writers to write content in your case? I wouldn’t mind writing a post or elaborating on some of the subjects you write related to here. Again, awesome site!

Paul Wolfe June 5, 2012 at 12:27 pm

So Michael@paid online surveys you love my blog do you? And you want to write a guest post? What makes you think I would purposefully defecate on something I’ve carefully cultivated for nearly two years? Because your comment is cut and paste crap….I dread to think what kind of spun nonsense you’d submit as a ‘guest post?’

Kathy June 5, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Hey Paul!
Just saw your great comment over at Jason’s (Ryze Online) blog so HAD to pop over and check this list.

I know you’ll find it completely and utterly coincidental, but some of those guys even visited MY blog and left the same thoughtful comments! :) Ha ha ha ha ha!

Hey, I sure could use some content on MY blog – especially if someone as literate as Spam Troll Number 5 is wanting to “elaborating on some of the subjects you write relate to here” for ME!

Ok… I LOVE “Spam Troll” as the name. Perfect. It seems no matter what I do on ANY of my sites, I get tons and tons of these comments.

The only thing on my blogs – I actually enabled Comment/Keyword Luv on mine and my husband’s blogs thinking that MAYBE… just Maybe someone would find something valuable to add to the post, and respectfully use the “comment/keyword luv” function as the “reward” for actually adding value. So far nothing much… but then, I don’t get a lot of traffic every day either.

I know that when I see Comment/Keyword Luv enabled on someone’s site, I’m really psyched about it (but then, I also really do have something to say).

But… again, it doesn’t appear to have helped to have encouraged real comments thus far.

Anyway, good to meet you! :) Kath

Paul Wolfe June 5, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Hey Kathy

Thanks for dropping by. Yeah it’s a shame the spammers can’t be ‘run out of town’ as they say. And these aren’t bots, they are people. What kind of crap job is it to go to blogs and drop ‘comment spam.’ What can you do – 60 an hour. What kind of a life is that?



Kathy June 5, 2012 at 5:54 pm

What I don’t get is WHY?? What is the point of someone going through so much trouble to produce such rubbish – thinking that it’s going to give ‘em a backlink (or whatever it is they’re trying to get??)

And you’re right – it’s no life at all. I’ll take my chances with writing some decent comment and if I need traffic that badly, I’m not against buying it! LOL!

Anyway… see what you started? Got us all on a roll!

Paul Wolfe June 6, 2012 at 6:54 am


I’m with you. WHY?

Who pays for these kinds of back links? Is this an army of people selling ‘backlinks’ on Fiverr? It’s crazy.

The one thing I’ve just woken up to is that traffic is not the holy grail (for me anymore). What’s far more important to focus on are conversions. Taken me three years to learn that, but hey ho, I got there eventually.


Eugene June 5, 2012 at 3:06 pm

They must REALLY REALLY like your site :)

Paul Wolfe June 5, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Hey Eugene

They do. Doesn’t everyone? Hope you’re well bro!


Lorii Abela June 5, 2012 at 4:33 pm

That was quite a list of spam messages. I may not have an avatar associated in my comment but I can assure you that I am really a real person and not a troll spammer. :)

By the way, are you using Gravatar to have those avatar?

Paul Wolfe June 5, 2012 at 5:31 pm

I’ll trust you ;)

Yep, it’s gravatar.

Ruth Zive June 5, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Wait a minute….that entire ramble is ONE spam comment? And because you are using GASP (which I also use), doesn’t that mean a human being had to sit there and assemble this treasure trove of spam gold into one single comment? And why would they even bother doing that? Isn’t the point of the spammed comment just to get the backlink? Does it help if the comment is long and ridiculous?

I don’t get it…but it did make me laugh Paul, so thank you!

Paul Wolfe June 5, 2012 at 5:30 pm


I think this spam comment is the ‘master list’ that this particular spammer uses to cut and paste from. SO instead of copying just one paragraph this one inadvertantly copied the whole lot!

Stupid spammer!


Derek June 5, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Haha! I’ve had many of those same comments left on my blogs as well. That’s great they gave up their entire inventory. What I can’t seem to figure out is why they don’t hire someone who can speak English to create a more legible set.

Just a quick note: Judging by the spam comments on this post, I would guess your “GASP” plugin isn’t working 100%. Once a spammer knows to look for that checkbox, it wouldn’t be hard at all to do it programmatically.

Pete @ Denver SEO June 5, 2012 at 5:53 pm

I have to know, what filter do you use to make a spam comment come up as Spam Troll #?

Is this something you have to do manually?

Either way, Comment Spam is the bread and butter with our friends over seas and their “Link Building Campaigns” Until google actually starts to crawl the comments themselves and “approve” real comments to pass on link love, we’re all stuck with massive waves of comments that suck.

Still, the Spam Troll bit is a good touch!

Paul Wolfe June 6, 2012 at 6:52 am

Hey Pete

Thanks for stopping by.

I just manually edited the name to be ‘spam troll.’ I just wanted to show the irony of a spam comment being dropped on a post showing a ‘grab bag’ of spam comments. As I said in an earlier comment, what kind of job must it be to wander the blogosphere virtually defecating on people’s blogs with cut and paste comment spam. Mmmm, what a rewarding career choice.



Adrienne June 5, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Dang Paul, that’s some spam comment.

I’m really surprised that they dumped this entire comment into one post. I’m even more surprised that newbie bloggers actually fall for this crap. Oh wait, I once did! Scratch that! lol…

I’m so thrilled about the improvements Andy is making with GASP. Helping us cut down on those spam comments from those who are copying and pasting these comments now. They aren’t getting past me anymore.

Stupid spammers

Paul Wolfe June 6, 2012 at 6:56 am


Stupid is a perfect adjective to describe the people who leave these comments. It’s obviously for a backlink. But if the comments are this generic and worthless, won’t the site be like that too? The sooner Google comes down with a Nuclear Update that makes this kind of comment spam AND the creation of thin content websites something that even lazy people realize won’t get them anywhere the better.

Nuclear Panda anyone?


Sharon Hurley Hall June 5, 2012 at 7:26 pm

I’ve had so many of those comments on that list that it just isn’t funny, Paul, and now thanks to you I have a whole bunch of new ones to cross off. I do wonder why people bother. The more spam comments I get, the more likely I am to get trigger happy with the delete button. Thankfully, I’ve got a good community of real commenters for when I lose the will to live. :)

Paul Wolfe June 6, 2012 at 6:57 am

Hey Sharon

Yes – it’s good to have a bunch of regular who comment. However, this episode has made me seriously think about moving to a different commenting system.

Take it easy.


Carolyn | Wonder of Tech June 5, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Hi Paul, That’s great. It’s easy to get frustrated with spammers , every so often why not laugh at them? Yours is great, Imagine someone thinking that would get published! And I love the spam comments you published on a spam comments article!

My favorite recent spam comment was one that discussed how I could determine who the father of my baby was. It went into great detail about timing, though wasn’t accurate. I have no clue where that comment came from!

Here’s one I got yesterday:

I am not sure whether this put up is written via him as no one else recognise such targeted about my difficulty. You’re incredible! Thanks!

As humorous as they can be, I’d prefer them to just go away!

Paul Wolfe June 6, 2012 at 6:59 am

Hey Carolyn

I posted a comment a few moments ago wishing for the day that Google would drop an update called Nuclear Panda that would make all these sites and back linkers go away. (As the old proverb goes…you should be careful what you wish for!).

I had one that i kept for ages and inadvertantly deleted that had the most creative use of ‘fastidious’ that I’d ever seen! It was a LOL comment. But I’m now seriously thinking about Livefyre or Disqus – I;ve deleted about 20 comments from this post that were variants of the comments in the main body.


And crazy.


Marina Brito@HomebySchool June 5, 2012 at 8:33 pm

HA HA HA!!! This post is awesome. I only get a few comments once in a while and they’re usually SPAM – but nothing as sophisticated as this. You should be flattered – it means you are a SPAM Troll Magnet. :D

My favorite line is: “Do you actually make good money from this blog?”

Paul Wolfe June 6, 2012 at 7:00 am


Yep, I’d rather not be a Spam Troll magnet thanks very much! If you’re not careful I’ll come over to your blog and spam all over it!


Marck @ MV Tech Blog June 5, 2012 at 8:42 pm

Those spams are like canned messages/reply and I used to get them too. I don’t get much of them now. I wonder if you are using Akismet in your blog it should help eliminate most of the bots.

Jack@TheJackB June 5, 2012 at 10:22 pm

Hi Paul,

I moved over to Livefyre last month and my spam has dropped dramatically. I like the changes that Andy made to CL, but for me it was a bit too late. I was inundated with spam and just got tired of clearing it out.

Paul Wolfe June 6, 2012 at 7:01 am

Hey Jack

I’m moving closer to that line of thought – at least it will make the spammers go away. Freaking idiots.


Anne June 6, 2012 at 4:11 am

I get taking comments down or blocking them due to nonsense comments that a lot of your list seems to consist of, but you seem to have a thing against people posting for other reasons despite what they post.

I have to say a lot of that stuff I would take down if it appeared on my blog, but an intelligent statement by someone with no avatar? come on.

Paul Wolfe June 6, 2012 at 6:49 am

Hey Anne

Usually I check the ‘spam’ queues every few days….and I’ve usually collected 50 or so mails to filter out. Actual bloggers who are leaving comments usually have an avatar. Very, very few do not. (Grabbing an avatar is no bigger a hurdle than linking your twitter or facebook account to Disqus or LIveFyre, which you’d have to do to comment on other blogs). If you combine no avatar with some kind of keyword in the name field – like John @ SEO Services or Peter@Weight Loss Services – then I don’t even read the comment. It gets automatically marked as spam.

Other than that, I’ll approve everything provided it’s not insulting to another commenter, or flat our rude. I welcome constructive criticism…there are very few commenters willing to leave constructive criticism on any blogs though. Maybe because at other blogs their comments are never approved – it’s why so many commment threads are just ‘comment love-ins.’


Ross Hall June 6, 2012 at 6:08 am

You know he might have just **really** liked your post ;)

Paul Wolfe June 6, 2012 at 6:50 am



Devesh @ Blog Marketing June 6, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Hey Paul,

ha ha ! What a great collection of spam comments, bud. I never got frustrated with spam comments & registrations until I opened Blokube.

Blokube was the site, where I got 1000+ spam registrations and comments and that’s why I had to turn it into an Invite only community.

Paul Wolfe June 17, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Hey Dev

Yep – that’s a great collection isn’t it. The pesky spammers…these are all manual spammers, so someone somewhere is paying for these kind of backlinks. I wonder how many they actually get…waste of time if you ask me.


David Leonhardt June 6, 2012 at 1:17 pm

I have been meaning to start collecting the more stupid spam comments that make it through the filter, and present a “greatest hits” of sorts on my own blog. I have to admit that this is the first time see the full discography in a single comment.

Paul Wolfe June 17, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Yep – I had one more that used ‘fastidious’ in a really creative fashion that I’d been saving for months for a post like this…but it inadvertantly got deleted!

Yeremi Akpan June 6, 2012 at 10:33 pm

I can’t stop laughing!
Looking though this list, it seems to me spammers know bloggers are vain.
Most of the comments just commend the post!

We have to go look for a new vice, bro :)

Paul Wolfe June 6, 2012 at 10:36 pm

hey Yeremi

IT’s crazy isn’t it….the spammers instintively know to try and get their comments accepted by stroking our egos! However, they have to do more than that to get featured in my comment threads!


Jens P. Berget June 8, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Hey Paul,

It seems that you’re receiving a lot more spam comments than me (I especially like the spam comments on a post about spam comments). I am also using CommentLuv and the integrated GASP as well. It works great, well, at least most of the time.

Your list is long and there are some really interesting comments in there. But, what I can’t stop to think about is that if it works or not? I know that many “SEO companies” are getting paid to post comments, but I just don’t believe that poor quality spam comments like the ones you have in your list actually gets through and gives a higher score at Google?

Paul Wolfe June 17, 2012 at 4:34 pm


Yep I can’t believe that somewhere someone is paying for these morons to post comments like this. It’s just utterly lame.


Anton Koekemoer June 11, 2012 at 7:01 am

This is like a bad flashback or Deja Vu – I’m almost certain I’ve seen all these comment numerous times before.

Neil Smith@FindingYourUniqueness June 11, 2012 at 10:02 am

I had no idea that your site could become such a luncheon sausage meat delight in such a short space of time. Does guess Akismet not work because they are real humans?

Anyway, I’m incredibly grateful for Lori’s comment! I’ve now installed Livefyre on my brand new blog and site. : )

I get to start fresh, with great advice from the start! Thanks for attracting real comments from real people with real heart!

Paul Wolfe June 17, 2012 at 4:30 pm


I’m going to LiveFyre or Disqus as well. I’m tired of dealing with these morons.


Michael@Call Answering Service June 11, 2012 at 3:10 pm

hahaha! I literally spent 20 minutes just going through and laughing at all the comments! The one that i find most hilarious is when you find one saying ‘I’ll be sure to tell all my friends about this!’ who are they then, R2D2 and C3PO?!

Try switching over to a platform which require the commenter to sign up to a Livefyre or Disqus account before contributing! That should put a stop to them!


Paul Wolfe June 17, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Hey Michael

Yep, I’m aiming to switch to one of them. Disqus maybe.


Steve June 11, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Great article {#Insert Name#}! I’m telling all my friends about this page. It really helped me a lot and I will be back to read more. Keep it up!

Sorry Paul; couldn’t resist :-)

This one definitely made me laugh…The spam comment crap stuff is always good for a chuckle.

BTW – Congrats on finishing up the course!

Paul Wolfe June 17, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Hey Steve

Yep – the spammers are utterly ridiculous and a waste of everyone’s time.


Jason "J-Ryze" Fonceca June 13, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Paul… I’m speechless.

This was hilarious and insightful. The best is the spam trolls in the comments — wtf?

I’m interested to know what Google uses to detect Spam E-mails, because I find their filter to be excellent.

Paul Wolfe June 17, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Yep – I never get spam to my Gmail accounts. Wonder what they do use?

Flo@Interviewing Tech Leaders June 15, 2012 at 7:18 am

Absolutely hilarious! I love how it’s just a MASSSSSIVE list summarized into two words “good stuff”, lol. I hardly get any quality comments (though bear in mind I’ve only had the site for under a month)….sometimes its tempting to click the “Close Comments” button but one day, ONE DAY, spammers will all be done with :)

Clowie June 15, 2012 at 12:17 pm

That’s funny, but I’ve only recently started blogging and the funniest spam I’ve had was on my very first post telling me that it was difficult to find me using a search engine. I was thrilled that it was possible so soon!

Pinar Tarhan October 10, 2012 at 6:51 pm

True, they’re doing best to look unspammy. For instance they substitute names in my post title with something in the generic comment, so for a second it looks personalized. Then of course for anyone who didn’t start blogging last week, mentioning a word in the title doesn’t mean a thing. Especially if I wrote a collective list post of movies with writer characters, and you just talked about the abs of one of the actresses in those movies. Yes, true story…

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